Happy Holidays!

I felt suddenly inspired to write at this moment so I thought I would come by...

This blog is really a personal reflection blog. While it's main purpose is more of an online diary keepsake, it is also helping me to share my voice, ideas, and feelings. So I welcome you if you have just stopped by! :)

I have been in really good spirits recently or since December has rolled along and I have noticed a few things about myself... which is most likely the reason why I am happy.

1. I am communicating more with people and generally responding back to conversations.
2. I am speaking up and voicing my opinions. No longer do I feel afraid and when I hold back from speaking up it is generally because I either don't feel the need to elaborate more on it or it's not worth my time. 
3. I am baking cookies and making chocolate truffles. I have never baked for friends and family per se so it's been quite fun!
4. I am continually amazed by my boyfriend... he is ever so much more calming, understanding, and patient around me. I feel like a part of me has rubbed up on him. I have figured out one of the secrets of our relationship... it is because every moment that I am with him... I am in the moment. Obviously every couple have problems but we usually solve it straight away and let it go. Communication is the most important thing and we really value and cherish each opportunity we are alive and around each other. The other day I told him: 'I feel so lucky that we agreed to be on Earth at this time together!' Indeed I do and I am thankful for the co-creation of our love. 
5. I am gaining more confidence in myself... I am still working on my mentality but that is and will be an ongoing work of art. I feel more confident as people have been reflecting back to me what I need to see in myself. What do you do when so many people have confidence in you but you don't believe in yourself? It's a little sad so I am gaining more confidence. It's not that I am not confidence but when it comes to my contribution to the world.. then I don't give myself enough credit.
6. I have been winning the lottery every week since December... even though it is only $20 per a week... I still feel very appreciative and thankful. Any win is a win and I have never won one right after the other this many times... Each time that I have won I have given it away... I mean it's just fun for me. I have big dreams and surely and surely they are all coming... just coming in unexpected timing and ways. I feel so lucky that the universe is reflecting back to me what I am feeling and thinking. I do feel more at ease and I am playing for fun! It's just fun. 
7. I feel gratitude everyday. It's actually makes me tear up and I am truly thankful for everything and everyone. I am even thankful for those who I don't like for they are showing me what I don't want to be...
8. It's hard to describe but... when you know you are the creator of your reality, then you just feel the freedom. You feel the freedom in your heart. It flutters and no one can take it away from you. Even if I was in a terrible place... albeit whatever physical conditions... I know my mentality is something that I have crafted myself. If there's one thing that I have learned as a human is that no one can replace or takeover your mentality. That is sacred in your mind, body, and soul. Once you find the connection to it all, then you will recognize all the other parts and their significant in your life. 
9. Everyday I am learning. I keep learning. I am teaching and learning. I am a wonderful person. I truly believe that and it is not from an egotistical point of view... it is because I see other people as wonderful people too and so I see myself that way too.
10. I feel a lot of big things are going to come about in the next year... I have dreams, desires, and lots of things to celebrate next year! I never know when I am going to leave... because I don't know if I will be back next life time. I feel like I get a lot of the stuff here now... and although I am still figuring it all out... I don't know if I will be back on Earth. So it is really important to me at this time that I do what excites me and go for my dreams. The Earth is my playground and I believe we are all here to dream, create, achieve, and be ourselves. I mean it's a lot to juggle cause everything is so compartmentalized but I am putting together my own puzzle. It's kind of fun.
11. I don't know everything that I am okay with that. I am okay with the fact that I will not know how to help everyone or to fix the world's problems. I will just try my best to do what I can and that's all I can do. I help what I feel passionate about. I really don't have time to try to fix everyone because no one is perfect... That's just the truth. There are a lot of people out in the world trying to tell people who they should be, who to believe in, and what they should dress, eat, wear... etc... I mean it's all good if that's what excites you to do but for me I have let that go. I have let go anything that oppresses people and disempowers them. If the energy falls somewhere around there or even FEAR then well I wish them the best of luck. You gotta be smart and not just believe in everything just because you don't have the answers to everything. 
12. I have many wonderful people in my life and I am learning how to be a better friend... I was a great friend to many others before.. and then I realized I wasn't being a good friend to myself.. now that I am learning how to be my own friend.. I am learning again how to balance that so that I don't get left behind or leave my friends behind. I am lucky that I have my boyfriend who is very opposite of me to show me how... he is a great and loyal friend and that is a treasure. 
13. I am okay with myself! I have finally accepted that I am not going to be like everyone else... I have always felt like I have slowed down. Everyone is ahead of me... yknow getting married, engaged, having a house, building their future etc... and compared to me I have nothing materialistic. I have more richness in mentality and love than materialistic things. Actually that's not bad but I do desire them too. So I have let go that I am not like them and I will not be like them. I just learn differently. I just do things differently. I guess I figured out that I do things differently to be an example for others. Well, I have learned to be okay with that. I am me and that's all I can be. 

I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

I don't always choose to share everything but today I feel extremely thankful. Everything that I have ever envisioned or desired always comes true... I am learning how to be more conscious of my thoughts and beliefs as I believe everything is a reflection of ourselves and it all depends on how we interpret it. Love Love Love 

If I am crazy then I would rather be crazy then normal. : ) 

By the way, I want to share something fun about me...

I am a girl and of course in this materialistic world... who doesn't want some pretty things! I love Chanel and well I just love the energy and embodiment of wearing or owning something Chanel. I don't care if it's called 'materialistic'... I mean it's really old school thought anyways. It is true that materialistic things can't make you happy and it is evident that I do not base my happiness on that... I base it on my mentality and beliefs. And I also believe that Chanel reflects sophistication, elegance, dedication, and commitment to oneself. When you value yourself then you have value to offer to the world. Anyways, it's just fun! So I love Chanel! I dream of going on a Chanel shopping spree one day... :*)