New Year & New Beginnings!!!

Hello Friends,

Happy New Year!!!

I am so excited for 2014 to come!

This year, I have been a little more proactive and have made a list of all the things that I want to achieve with action plans next to the goals. Wishful thinking can only get you so far but taking action will propel you further.

Surprisingly, a lot of my goals have been the same things that I have been thinking about for the whole year and now I am going to take a leap of faith and make them happen. I know some of the goals are seemingly bigger but I am going to give equal value to all of them. Again, it is all in my mindset so I am not going to hold myself back because of my physical mind's interpretation of how to do things.

I felt like 2013 was a year of many great learnings and although nothing too significant in my career happened... I felt like my personal relationships with my family/friends and myself have drastically changed. I feel more free and less confined to my own personal issues and I am able to easily let go of a lot of other people's issues... not making them into mine!

At the beginning of the year, I went through relationship hell. At the end of 2012, I had such bright prospects and everything I was doing was going great until my relationship(s) fell apart. It took a huge toll on me physically, mentally, and spiritually. I felt like I had hit depression once again and I kept physically manifesting illness. On top of that, my accidentally spilled water on my laptop which resulted in me not having a computer to use for several months. I don't remember doing a lot but in hindsight I learned a lot from those experiences.

My relationship taught me several things...
- How to communicate better as a partner and to show affection and gifts because guys need it too!
- How to have more self-worth and value for myself
- How to not depend on anyone for your own happiness, well I never did but something I learned from others.
- Listening to my higher self and trusting my visions (That was a big one! It was the first time that my higher self really spoke to me and guided me... amazing) What a relevation!
- How much control I have in my relationship... I am quite the storyteller and manipulator but in a good way! I mean, I basically mapped out how I want my relationship to be...
- I forgave and I let go of the past. I knew I did not want to perpetuate anger and hate... It's not who I am anymore and I feel so enlightened that I can do that.
- Never take relationships for granted... not that I did but surely you must make sure you understand and check in how your partner is feeling
- Fights are good for a relationship...we learn more about each other and more about ourselves!
- Make sure you resolve all fights straight away and do not let it build up! This process always allowed us to make up and let go of the past.
- Learning how to express our feelings and be our true selves. I feel more like myself now that my partner understands me more. Although we are different in every way, we are similar in that we love one another.
- Being in the moment is what makes our relationship like ecstasy!
- Ask and remind yourself, 'Are we having fun?' and if you answer no then you're both probably being too serious... especially in fights!

There's more but I learned a lot through this experience and I am thankful for it as it has allowed me to relate with a few others who are also struggling.

- - -

I sort of went through depression again... but not as drastic as before. It crept by and tagged along as I was feeling sorry for myself because I thought I had already dealt with depression and had let it go. I just did not feel good for the first half of the year in 2013. I was not able to find work (although I realized now that I just could not focus on it as I was working through other things) and I was beating myself up... I was also getting really sick each week with menstrual issues, sleeping deficits, cold sores, memory lapse... Ya, a lot of things.

I can attribute to the energy shifts that are going through my body... sure why not. It is probably a combination of many things so basically a lot of the first part of 2013, I was sorting out my internal struggles.

What I learned from having small lapses of depression is this...
- Depression is just a form of expression so do not be afraid of having emotions
- Just because you are over with your depression, does not mean that when it comes back then there is something wrong with you
- I learned to integrate depression as a part of me and transformed it into something positive...
- The most positive thing I got was from sharing with others of how I went through depression and how it has changed my life in a positive and advocating to others about being okay with having emotions
- I learned to accept the fact that once in awhile these feelings of self-worthlessness and hopelessness will come back but to realize that it is a part of me and to let it pass through me. It is a part of my journey and I need to embrace it because every experience is a learning opportunity in my eyes...
- I learned that many people go through depression and that we are not alone in the process
- It is okay to have emotions! We don't need to put up the front of being aggressive and emotionless... who are we serving if we put up a fake front? It's okay to have problems. Everyone does!
- I learned to ask for help...
- Ya, that was the hardest because I always thought I was quite self-reliant but I mean... to ask for help as in to be okay with people wanting to help you.
- I learned that I am sensitive and that I am okay with being a sensitive person. If I want to cry, then I will cry. If I don't want to, then I won't.
- I have learned to process my emotions a bit more and to be okay with feeling sad or not wanting to go out. I am perfectly fine saying, I need my down time and chill out time.
- My way of getting out of depression was to empower myself... I have learned that one of my life purposes is to educate young children or teens on how to empower themselves. It's a powerful mind mentality tool.
- I have also let go of a lot of judgement and gossip. It is amazing how much your mind clears up when those things aren't a part of your focus. I will still take a critical stance and make a professional sound judgement when it is needed in my professional practice but no longer will I want to contribute it personally. It is draining. It is none of my business. If a friend needs help, then I am all there. If not, then I will not intrude. However, if it is something that I don't feel right about or something that I believe is worth advocating for, then I will not hold back.
- I feel a lot smarter. I mean not about book smart but in general about life smarts. I just feel smarter in terms of how I handle situations...
- I have also learned how to discern which realities I wish to buy into and which ones I don't. It's not about ignoring but it is simply a matter of focus. There are consequences to each action whether it be positive and negative and I have simply learned how to shift better. I am not perfect at it but I am more consciously aware of my thoughts and ideas... For example, when it comes to me viewing a certain event or problem... I will now consciously avoid judgement and instead send loving energy and also I will say aloud to the universe that that is something that I don't prefer in my reality. It is a preference as I give equal power to both realities. I just don't want to leave a thought that I don't prefer unattended. It's because the universe is always listening to what I am saying and alot of things manifest quickly! It's almost as if I am learning in turbo speed. I am learning so fast about my own beingness and about human beings in general so it is all quite exciting.
- I have summed up two thoughts about human beings... all love. Except some of us have distorted views on love which manifests into negative events. So, it's all love. We all have emotions and we all care about something. Because if we did not, then we would just be like floating specs in space and we would not be here on Earth. So if you're on Earth, then you have feelings of care even if it is in decimal amounts! Remember, when there is darkness, it only takes a little light to guide the way. That's what I feel depression has lead me to... I lit my own lamp and guided my way out and met many more friends!

Well, there's more but that's all I can think of now. I use a lot of metaphors...

Most importantly, I am learning how to balance out my life at this moment. It is never going to be perfect and while I still have my ego issues, I am working out the kinks in my life and enjoying the simple things in life... such as having gratitude, being appreciative, and simply just sending out love energy to each and energy being.

New things to work on...

Well, I have a whole list and I intend to start on them... actually I am starting on them now! But I intend to make them happen so that I can add on new goals and dreams in 2015. I mean, if time is all now then anything can happen. I truly believe that anything that I wish for or desire will come true. So far, many of them have come true at various intervals and timing, and I am always amazed at what there is to offer. I am truly thankful for my own body, mind, heart, and spirit. :*) May we continue working together next year and growing in many happy and productive ways!

As Bashar says, there are infinite number of parallel realities... which are you going to choose?

I am consciously asking that question...hence I conclude that I am always creating my reality because of this belief. Let's create more fun, exciting, and exhilarating life experiences! Wooooooo :*)