Hello Well-Wishers,
It's been a couple of months and so much has happened in my life...
Something momentous in my reality has shifted recently. So much so that my outlook is that I am finally here. I am present. I figured it out. I figured out how to be present and how to take care of my mental mind. So much realizations have occurred in exactly the last 30 days... I don't feel like typing it all up as it seems like a blur now but it was important for my journey. I just wanted to document this...I know maybe it doesn't mean a lot to everyone else but to me it has been mind blowing and ground breaking.
Having said this...I am so thankful for my parents who gave me the opportunity to live. I am so thankful that I can play music and express in those ways. I am even more so thankful to my boyfriend. Because without him, I would not be where I am now. The small things that he have done for me has bettered my life and I just cry thinking about this... because I am so thankful and appreciative. And for once in my adult life, I don't have relationship dramas. I have wonderful friends, a great support system, and I am alive.
I am no longer privy to my fears. I am releasing them and letting them go. Yesterday, I found out that my weight gain over the last 13 years...has been a shield to protect myself. My biggest fears were that I would not survive on my own here on Earth that I would be poor and suffering but that I am not really poor and suffering but that my mind allowed me to think so. I have been adding on weight to ground myself..to protect myself from lifting up too high into the clouds, to not be seen, to not be noticed, and to not be able to be myself completely.
If you want to know the truth... I have been through a lot. I have. A spirit like me has been through quite a lot and I know there are many more who will have felt the same. Now, I am not depressed or anything. I just want to acknowledge my current path and empower myself that I have gone through certain difficult life experiences and that I chose this. I have to take responsibility for every action because if I cannot then I am not in control of my destiny or world. There is so much love and I Just want to keep being myself and sharing love to this world. I am finally feeling peace in my mind and in my heart. I finally am okay with myself failing, falling down, and not being the best. I am finally okay just being myself and loving the spirit that I am who has chosen to be here at this time.
The last few months, I have been "detoxing" from a lot of spiritual gurus and talks. Why? I just felt like it. I just felt like it was time for me to go within along with all my knowledge. And, that is what I feel is essential. We can go searching and taking and looking all our lives and of course we will find things but what if all of it is here right now. I am not talking about physical goods but I am talking about what is all of it is here right now...right now.
I am here. I am here. I am growing. I am expanding. I am working on the best me that I can be.
Thursday 12 May 2016
Wednesday 6 April 2016
A snippet of my life story...very personal but I'm just being honest and courageous.
Some personal sharing...only because I am anonymous online.
Um... what else?
While this is my life story which I can build upon... I rarely disclose this to anyone. I mean, it sounds really crazy. I mean, I think a lot of people go through this stuff. No one knows this stuff entirely, except for one time when I went to see an intuitive healer and she asked me if I was sexually abused and well since I never told anyone, I would have never known that she would have known so I know she was really telling the truth.
But I'm not afraid anymore and I do not go onwards with a blaming or guilty feeling route. In fact, I think I went through these scenarios to learn a lot of Earth stuff all at once and it allows me to relate to many people easier. Also, being a super-sensitive person means I learn even more than just what happened but how they feel from just thinking about other people's situations. I say I have a pretty good grasp of shit that happens in life. So how do we transform it? How do we make it better for ourselves?
You know.. this is a transformative era. It's really time to take responsibility for everything that goes on in our lives. I mean... why would these bad things happen to us? No one deserves this! I certainly don't feel like I did but it happened. Why? Because we are on Earth. On Earth, there are a lot of messed up people. No offense. But sincerely, messed up people who continue to perpetuate their fears, bad habits, and their ideologies onto people. Why are some people placed in war-torn countries? Why are people being born in starving nations? I don't know why... and why would God put them there? I have no idea. I just wish I knew but I have no idea. Why did I go through so much suffering? I don't know. Why would I put myself in those scenarios? Yes, some of these fears do perpetuate from time to time but I am learning to let it go.
All I know is that at any point in time, I need to shift my attitude. I need to alter my present reality which will include a subtle or major shift in our present values, ideologies, and belief systems. We cannot change our past but we certainly can our perspective on it. Let it ruin it for you or let it empower you to be better than where you were. How will you let your experiences affect your life? I just want to say that it's okay if you feel you want to play the role of the victim... it's okay if you want to play the role of the perpetrator. Why do I say that? Because that is your free will. That's what Earth is... as beautiful as the planet is and how kind it is... human beings are the ones who have free will. So, there is a role and purpose for every being on Earth. As horrible as it is... that is how it is. However, it does not negate us from stepping up and taking action. For without people who protest or stand up for their rights then no change can occur. I applaud those who believe in humanity and have faith. They are our earth angels and something that we can look as for an example. It is only through immense suffering that allows for changes to occur. BUT... we are in an information technology age and we need to seek out answers for ourselves. We need to be curious, inquisitive, and ever wanting to grow, learn, experience, and expand. It is important to be to continually look for alternatives. To never buy into one reality and assume that there is all that there is. I am sorry I can not protect, save, or heal everyone. I can only wish that people can learn to protect, save, and heal themselves. For then, that act as a service to others. For we are always inspired by others... so be the inspiration. Go for it!
I do not feel sorry for myself so I do not ask people to feel sorry for me. This is my life and I have gone through a lot but I have also transformed my past. I do not let the past haunt me, instead I continue to live my life with compassion, love, and forgiveness.
That's all.
Sharing is caring. I might not make sense but again this is for me as well.
- All types of Abuse
- Depression
- Mid-Life Crisis
- Dysfunctional Family
- Alcoholic Family Members
- Arrogant Self-Righteous Parent 1
- Victimizing People Pleaser Parent 2
- Non-interfering Sibling
- Delusional 'old ways' family members
- Continuous Family Drama
- Perfectionism
- Personal Dysfunctional Thoughts
Um... what else?
While this is my life story which I can build upon... I rarely disclose this to anyone. I mean, it sounds really crazy. I mean, I think a lot of people go through this stuff. No one knows this stuff entirely, except for one time when I went to see an intuitive healer and she asked me if I was sexually abused and well since I never told anyone, I would have never known that she would have known so I know she was really telling the truth.
But I'm not afraid anymore and I do not go onwards with a blaming or guilty feeling route. In fact, I think I went through these scenarios to learn a lot of Earth stuff all at once and it allows me to relate to many people easier. Also, being a super-sensitive person means I learn even more than just what happened but how they feel from just thinking about other people's situations. I say I have a pretty good grasp of shit that happens in life. So how do we transform it? How do we make it better for ourselves?
You know.. this is a transformative era. It's really time to take responsibility for everything that goes on in our lives. I mean... why would these bad things happen to us? No one deserves this! I certainly don't feel like I did but it happened. Why? Because we are on Earth. On Earth, there are a lot of messed up people. No offense. But sincerely, messed up people who continue to perpetuate their fears, bad habits, and their ideologies onto people. Why are some people placed in war-torn countries? Why are people being born in starving nations? I don't know why... and why would God put them there? I have no idea. I just wish I knew but I have no idea. Why did I go through so much suffering? I don't know. Why would I put myself in those scenarios? Yes, some of these fears do perpetuate from time to time but I am learning to let it go.
All I know is that at any point in time, I need to shift my attitude. I need to alter my present reality which will include a subtle or major shift in our present values, ideologies, and belief systems. We cannot change our past but we certainly can our perspective on it. Let it ruin it for you or let it empower you to be better than where you were. How will you let your experiences affect your life? I just want to say that it's okay if you feel you want to play the role of the victim... it's okay if you want to play the role of the perpetrator. Why do I say that? Because that is your free will. That's what Earth is... as beautiful as the planet is and how kind it is... human beings are the ones who have free will. So, there is a role and purpose for every being on Earth. As horrible as it is... that is how it is. However, it does not negate us from stepping up and taking action. For without people who protest or stand up for their rights then no change can occur. I applaud those who believe in humanity and have faith. They are our earth angels and something that we can look as for an example. It is only through immense suffering that allows for changes to occur. BUT... we are in an information technology age and we need to seek out answers for ourselves. We need to be curious, inquisitive, and ever wanting to grow, learn, experience, and expand. It is important to be to continually look for alternatives. To never buy into one reality and assume that there is all that there is. I am sorry I can not protect, save, or heal everyone. I can only wish that people can learn to protect, save, and heal themselves. For then, that act as a service to others. For we are always inspired by others... so be the inspiration. Go for it!
I do not feel sorry for myself so I do not ask people to feel sorry for me. This is my life and I have gone through a lot but I have also transformed my past. I do not let the past haunt me, instead I continue to live my life with compassion, love, and forgiveness.
That's all.
Sharing is caring. I might not make sense but again this is for me as well.
Wednesday 6 January 2016
Happy New Year!!!
Hello Well-wishers,
I just wanted to start off by saying 'Happy New Year!' to all my visitors. I wish you all a joyous, happy, and fulfilled year as we embark upon 2015. Whatever timeline or parallel reality you choose to be a part of, I hope it is one the one that you prefer to be in. Honestly, this is the best time of your life! Whether you have succeeded or struggled in the past year, all the accumulative experiences are here to enrich your life, help you grow as a 'human being', and each little part that you play plays a bigger part in humanity.
I just wanted to start off by saying 'Happy New Year!' to all my visitors. I wish you all a joyous, happy, and fulfilled year as we embark upon 2015. Whatever timeline or parallel reality you choose to be a part of, I hope it is one the one that you prefer to be in. Honestly, this is the best time of your life! Whether you have succeeded or struggled in the past year, all the accumulative experiences are here to enrich your life, help you grow as a 'human being', and each little part that you play plays a bigger part in humanity.
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